Our tax dollars buy bullying, not representation — The US of A is no longer a melting pot or even a salad bowl. Instead, rich Ol’ Uncle Sam is all about keeping our preferred colors separate — Blue rights, Red lefts, Green money dominant — while paying lip service to rainbows and equity. We Are Broken Do politicians’ parents teach them…

How to respond when the Grim Hacker invites you for drinks — R.S.V.Peeing to the Grim Hacker, aka Grimsby Hackney — Thanks for inviting me to your fantasy pre-dinner drinking session. I’ll be there toting a box of Peter Vella Cabernet Sauvignon, which per their website is “created in a light-bodied, easy-to-enjoy style with soft notes of cherry fruit and a wonderfully smooth finish.” For those without a clue,

It didn’t warp me in any meaningful way — My father was a freethinker regarding movies the way my mother was about books. He’d take me to any movie of my choice when I visited during school vacations. I remember seeing Easy Rider with him, which was released in 1969. I turned 11 in 1969. He lived in a…

The lament of an envious writers retreat nonparticipant — She asked a free-spirited tipster, “Why the H should I go to Puhkipser?” He consulted his balls, Then made a few calls — And predicted a few tipsy quipsters. She thought off the bat, oh what fun — There’s a jolly good chance of some puns. …

An homage to ‘Shaving Cream’ with apologies to Benny Bell & Dr. Demento — For Those Who Aren’t Familiar — ‘Shaving Cream’ is a novelty song wherein the rhymed word — which begins with the letters SH — is replaced by “shaving cream” and the second & fourth lines in each verse rhyme with “it.” I chose FU & “fudge ice cream” along with “ck.” Fudge Ice Cream There’s times when I want…

What if Grammarly and ChatGPT had a baby? — If ChatGPT informed Grammarly, we might really have something. The titles above “Writers Weigh In” are my ChatGPT prompts. Back-ticked text highlighted in grey is ChatGPT’s response — slightly edited. Can you tell which parts are me? The only bad writer is a Grammarly denier If you refuse to use Grammarly, you might as well be wearing a…

An Editor Fairy ‘read this first’ index — 🏴‍☠️ Welcome aboard the Good Ship MuddyUm! 🏴‍☠️ This piece is but a table scrap of informative plunder from the trove hoarded under our Outlaws tab. Binge on those wordy nuggets if you want, but definitely START HERE! It’s daunting to read all >42 guidelines, tutorials, & other piratical nuts…

Raise your hand if you support reproductive freedom for bitches — This parody poem is inspired by puppy love, flavored by my distaste for what’s happening in conservative states. It would def cheer me up to have some pups, let me whelp! Got a vet appointment, not sure what it’s for; All I dream of really is Big Bowser next door…

On sale now! ‘Smart’ soap dispensers conspiring with Alexa — I never looked back after discovering liquid hand soap, but a voice-activated soap pump is less useful than teats on a boar hog. Is it marketed worldwide or only in America, the Land of the Free to Spend Money Ridiculously? 𝕝𝕚𝕢𝕦𝕚𝕕 𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕠𝕒𝕡 : 𝕓𝕒𝕣 𝕤𝕠𝕒𝕡 :: 𝕤𝕝𝕚𝕔𝕖𝕕 𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕 …