I need you to help me help them — Disclaimer: The people in the image may or may not be the actual interns. This year MuddyUm has a summer intern program for aspiring humorists. We attracted three college students to work with us. Our goal was to increase the MuddyUm brand across multiple social media platforms. We wanted students familiar with TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter — the social media giants. …

MuddyUm interns stage hostile takeover — No one saw it coming. That’s on us. Think about it. The private Slack channels none of us could access. The furtive eye contact. A dog-eared copy of Barbarians at the Gate taunting us from Jadyn Mardy’s custom Zoom background. …

She’s dead (and she is wise) — If you have a question for Granny Mary, put it in the comments or email to askgrannymary at gmail. Let’s look at the mail! Dear Granny Mary: How do you punctuate? I’ve been reading. Your stuff? And I always; always: admire your skill with — punctuation. Its not something I…

That’s an idea we’ve never heard before — says no one ever — When Amy Sea asked me to come aboard as an editor of the prestigious humor publication MuddyUm, I thought ‘now that’s a publication that can really use my help.’ …

A mosquito attends MuddyUm’s Comedy Camp — The moment I heard some juicy humor writers were all getting together to be funny, I knew I had to be there. Ever since I was an egg on my mother’s egg raft, I always thought I had some comedic chops. I was one of the first to hatch, so…

You have to be there — I don’t think my colleagues writing about the MuddyUm Comedy Camp have successfully expressed just how very much the whole experience is going to suck. Suck eggs. Suck straws. Suck turkey twats. It’s going to suck so hard that you will marvel at the suckishness of it. …

See you in New York, not Camp Granada, in June — Who’s going to Comedy Camp in 2022? June 17–20 at the Brearley Estate 🦉 Early Bird ticket buyers save $150 🦉 Here’s your MuddyUm Comedy Camp website link. Please do register ASAP if you know you want to come!

It’s not all bright lights, dryer lint and laughter — No one told me that being a MuddyUm editor would require reading the words “Ass-eating,” much less placing quotation marks around the words “Ass-eating.” And yet, that’s what I just did in this story by Patrick Metzger. Relearning How To Do Sex After Your Marriage Ends Catch up on all the actionmedium.com Not that Patrick didn’t place his own marks around ass-eating, it’s just that…

Try being caned for bad writing four thousand years ago — ‘My Editor Said’ Inspired by quoted text in a book I’m reading A writing exercise from a school in ancient Mesopotamia discovered by modern archaeologists gives us a glimpse into the lives of these [writers], some 4,000 years ago ….¹ I clicked Submit and my editor read my story. They said, There’s something missing! It’s called a kicker. →Then they caned me.

Nix the prolixity, don’t bury your story, and work on that later — Tip #1 of 3 — Try for Top Billing You think you’ve heard this advice before, but you haven’t. Far as I know, I didn’t steal this tiny tip from anyone. Do you want a shot at the top spot on our home page? Hell yeah 👀 So why did you self-publish your darling baby while, or before, submitting it to us? That affects story placement on the day MuddyUm publishes it. If…

Bucket along listlessly if you dare — In No Particular Order 1. Lunch Bucket I still have my classic red plaid metal lunchbox from grade school.

We call him Mister Ed for short — A horse is dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle. — Ian Fleming Our editor group was unstable, verging on unbalanced. What to do? We didn’t want to go bats, or cuckoo, or squirrely. Fake news wasn’t widespread then, so we just learned that in the Equine Actors’ Equity Act of 2005, Congress enabled horses to obtain Social Security numbers and live, work, and play indoors alongside their human…

These are some guys who’re fun to know — No, don’t roll over, Dr. Seuss! You’re still the best since Mother Goose. Quasimodo/Baskerville Our ship and crew were female-run Until the Captain gave a gun To Quasi of the modo brand.

Mudditors, Brudditors welcome Fudditor — DATELINE: Zoom Call, The Internet, Nov. 29 Cap’n Susan Brearley announced during the weekly Muddyum Editors’ Meeting that she has recruited Elmer J. Fudd to join the editorial staff. Brearley has worked hard to diversify the team. Recently, the Cap’n added two testosterone packs. The term Brudditor was coined. Brudditor For a Year Sure as hell hope it’s not a leap year bromedium.com

Mr. AF — Auto Fill — is lazier than I — Laziness I have no corporeal balls in this or any other game. I don’t really play games¹ but am flipping multiple birds with one story finger because I’m lazy. This is a BINGO entry for Susan Brearley’s MuddyUm Writers’ Challenge. …

A ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ parody — Poo Are Brains? No, Brains-Are-Poo. That Brains-Are-Poo! That Brains-Are-Poo! I do not like that Brains-Are-Poo! Do I like Zoom bombs and you? I do not like them, Brains-Are-Poo. I do not like Zoom bombs and you. Would I like them on a ship? Would I like them with a quip? Not on…

Sure as hell hope it’s not a leap year bro — I was Mudditor for a day. Last I checked, a day is 24 hours. Silly me. In the mixed up files of Ms. Susan Brearley, a day is 365 * 24 hours. A year? A year! Not a leap year. Praise the Lord! Is it a leap year? How. Did…

Song parody zooms into The MuddyUm Writers’ Challenge — Let’s Zoom Off Together I’m working on several stories and just realized I meant to publish this one yesterday to help advertise our Zoom-A-Thon, Sunday, 11/14/2021 at noon Eastern US time. Oh well. I hope you’re reading this and will join us? Some say it’ll be jam-packed; others that no one will show up…

I don’t need no stinkin’ subtitle — What the hell? Check out my Medium screen! I’m a Mudditor! How did this happen? More importantly, who cares! For months, I’ve wanted to write with a reckless, nay profligate, abundance of punctuation. Just strew the (‘s and :’s and -’s around like confetti on VJ Day. Good luck with…

Vogon verse also is the brown anal discharge — Vulvas unite! We Obviously are the keepers of Greatness. Only testicles feebly contest our Numerous Potential areas where Outside-the-box thinking Eventually will lead to Terrific advances in interspecies & intergalactic Relationships. Your guess is much better than mine on what that will lead to